Sayonara Tazawako

I asked my partner in the early hours of this morning if he thought that the old ladies who served us in the dining room every night wearing full kimono, hair all pinned up could possibly be retired geisha who had nowhere to go.  He found this pretty funny, and suggested, that it was more likely they were farmers wives, just as all the lifties at the mountain are farmers.  He had a point - some of those ladies look a little rough 'round the edges.  They aren't the greatest waitresses either - old age does things to your memory and co-ordination as evidenced by the old lady who forgot to bring us a glass after 6 asks, and the one that dropped her tray full of food - twice.   But they sure are cute.  And who cares if they can't understand a word we're saying, and us them - they are probably deaf anyway.

Their 70 year old farmer husbands are much better lifties than a 20 year Aussie. Your average liftie in Australia just wants to get out on the "f ' king slopes dude" instead of checking your ticket and making sure you don't get entangled with the chairlift or your companion.  The farmers take their jobs pretty seriously.  They all carry a sort of stuffed giant glove on a stick, and a broom.  They use the glove to brush any snow from your seat before you sit down, while simultaneously brushing the back of the chair lift hood, so snow doesn't fall down on your boots when it closes.  How considerate.  They also give you a pat down if you're looking exceptionally snowy.

I first learnt to snowboard at Mt Field in Tasmania.  I say 'learnt' but let's face it - it's a stretch.  If you've ever skied at Mt Field (the tinniest excuse for a mountain known to mankind) you would recall the rope towing system.  A large hessian rope goes around pulleys to take you up the mountain.  You wear a belt with a metal "nutcracker" attached.  To get on you have to grab the rope, flip your nutcracker over it, then grab your nutcracker and hold on.  You have to also make sure you are not holding the rope when it goes through one of the pulleys.  Sounds quaint?  It's not.  It totally sucks.  And if you are a total beginner it sucks harder.  On one of my many failed attempts to be co-ordinated, I pulled the whole rope off the pulley, went out wide, still holding the rope and took out everybody in the line.....one after the other.  I kind of rode over the top of each of them.

Gondolas are my favourite.  They went mad in Japan during the boom, and had a gondola frenzy.  There are gondolas going here there and everywhere.  They don't even pack them full in Japan.  You can have a whole one to yourself, put your feet up, have a beer (from a vending machine at the entrance), some nuts...... whatever takes your fancy.  You can even just go for a ride in one.  Take the kids - show them the sights.... make a day of it.
Not only did they go mad on gondolas during the  80's boom, but on ski mountains in general.  No hill was left unturned..... into a resort.  There are nearly 600 ski resorts across Japan - in the boom time there was a great deal more - they just couldn't afford to operate them anymore.  Apparently there are non-operational resorts where you can still go and get a hill groomer to drive you up the slopes all day for a small fee.  A whole empty ski resort - sounds inviting doesn't it?  Just don't forget to take your own rice, as you could be waiting a long time in the cafeteria queue.

Unfortunately though, our last day on the mountain (I finally made it- yay me), was pretty dismal.  It was still very icy, only it was ice with a thin patchy powder coating.  I think it's worse than straight ice.  At least you know what you're getting.  With a teasing mix of a tiny bit of powder on top of ice, you can be coasting along going "yeeeeeaaaahhhh", and then hit the concrete and go "oh noooooooo".  Slam.  That scraping sound too - it's bone chilling.  At least you have the onsens to soak away the self afflicted body fuck.  It also felt great to scrub the filth of sickness away too (in the shower area - god forbid not the bath).  Valli and Cordi are really getting into it too.  I was worried at first - like, was it too hot for them? Or were they going to lay a cable in the steamy waters?  God knows what would happen there.  There's a good chance I'd get deported.  Have you ever tried to catch a poo in the bath anyway - it's wretched.  Once, when I wasn't on duty,  I could hear the girls wailing "poo poo poo" from the bathroom.  I went in to see them clambering up one end of the bath, while floating feces threatened from the other.  My partner was sitting on the toilet lid reading a book, not looking up, saying "poo poo" back to them.  "What were you thinking was going on?" I queried (aggressively) - His response "I just thought they liked saying 'poo'".  Anyway, no bath poos tonight - just mega cuteness.

So, it's our final night here and I was nervously anticipating our send-off dinner.  I was just praying they wouldn't serve up the raw herring with yellow sauce, and the boiled eel with raw egg mixed through it.  Last night I was feeling so crap I just couldn't take it, and told them I couldn't make it for dinner.  What should turn up at the door but an old kimono lady with a pot of......I nervously lifted the lid.  Soup!  And not bloody miso - chicken with vegetables and noodles (OK, spaghetti but close enough).  They must have researched on the Internet what Western people eat when they're sick.  I thought it was cute.  And so what if it was so salty I was up all night sculling water, it's the thought that counts.

Well dinner tonight was full on.  It was back to the piles of un-identifiable sea creatures and pond algae.  And there was mountains of it.  I found it so hard to go there.  In fact I couldn't.  Raw scallops just don't cut it really.  I even took a picture for evidence. It amazes me they could expect one normal human to eat even a quarter of this.

Those ladies are so lucky they're cute.  I think I'm going to miss them....