Packing Shit

I lot of people (ok, maybe 2), have been asking me lately how I manage living out of a suitcase most of the time.  Well, the answer is - I don't.  I am either secretly posting boxes of stuff I don't want, or need, to one of our 15 different storage locations around the world (I'm talking friend's cupboards, under the house of where my sister used to live, in fact most of our friends and relatives have at least one box somewhere).  Plus, I'm constantly crapping myself that I have too much in my suitcase.  I dread the raised eyebrows from the ticket counter every time I hoist my bag onto the scales putting out a vertebrae in the process, arguing to no avail and eventually getting charged a fortune in excess baggage.  Once I paid $150 for 3 kilos of excess baggage and realised later one of those $50 buck notes went on a 1kg bag of Japanese rice crackers I'd bought my Dad, which I could have just repacked into my hand luggage....I actually shed a tear when I spotted them barely touched in the pantry a year later...."Enjoy them did you Dad?...eat every last one....EAT....."

When asked how many pieces I have to check in, I find it extremely difficult to utter "nine".  I usually say;
"Well...let me see... five, plus two baby car-seats, two baby cots and a double stroller"
"So how many in total Ma'am"
"You do the math biatch".
I never actually say that though, it's just my fantasy to be cutting.  In reality, I'm trying ever so hard to be their best buddy in all the world.  Mainly so they let that 3 kilos slide.  I've been scarred enough by too many repacks at the counter.  Take it from me, you never want your fellow travellers to see your beige coloured maternity bra, and non matching, yet still beige, high-waisted scruds kicking round on the floor in front of the British Airways business check-in counter.

These days we've reduced a lot thank god.  Plus we have to pay full fare for the little rats (our favourite term, I've moved on from "slugs"), which gives us 23kg more luggage each rat = 10 extra pairs of shoes and another two bags of toiletries for moi.  But in the good old Under 2's Go Free days there are ways to get your shoes (bugger the baby clothes, let's prioritise here) over the line.  Many airlines actually give you a 10kg allowance each non-paying infant.  I would ring to check before though - it can differ widely and change often.  Domestic airlines usually don't let you have extra allowance, which is annoying if you first have to fly domestically to leave the country from another city.  They can also be total pricks about it, such as the manager at Virgin Blue in Hobart on the 22nd of September, 2009 at 2.30pm (I haven't forgotten Todd).

But all airlines will let you check in your baby equipment, so go nuts - travel cots, car seats, strollers, baby hammocks, baby bouncers, rocking horses, walkers - really get your money's worth here people.  In fact, stuff the travel cot bags, and stroller pockets and lining of your car-seats with all your heaviest items.

But just remember, you will have to carry it all on the other side.

P.S And don't forget my most important rule of packing....Always completely pack everything the night before, no matter how tired you are. You will thank yourself when you realise your partner has misread the itinerary and you have 10 minutes to shower, dress everyone and get out the door.