Left out in the cold....




Put it away



 The thing is, no matter how I carefully I pack for Tasmania, I always end up bringing the wrong thing and being way too hot or cold, and thus always uncomfortable.  This happened today.  After yesterday's chilly 10 degrees in Melbourne I was thinking "Yep, it's going to be crap down there".  I was up until 2am packing jackets and washing woollens.  I then, was unfortunately up at 6.30am.  I needn't have bothered going to such an effort. No matter how I dress here I always get it wrong.  You think 38 years suffering the same particular crisis may have made me more experienced in such matters.  It has made me worse.   My high-neck brown jumper now gives off that sweat-under-the-pits aroma, due to Tassie turning on an over 20 degrees day.  My high heel brown boots were also totally pathetic for an impromptu beach stroll.  I can't escape it - I am always unprepared here.  Growing up, my parent's house was always freezing. Totally freezing.  Every winter, having my morning shower was like joining the Polar Bears Club or whatever those pack of idiots name themselves. Who wants to swim in the sea in winter?....OK obviously a polar bear - but they're hunting for seals, not having a jolly jaunt.   We humans just aren't designed for such torture. 



When I lived at my parents beach shack during my uni days, I would lie in bed watching my frosty breath float past me, as I taunted myself with just an extra ten minutes more in bed.  Eventually I knew I would have to face that chilly air, and drive to the breakfast shift at my part time job.  I would never shower (again with the pits), and instead wear my ug boots in the car until the very last second, driving up to town with my doona over my legs and  a cup of tea in my lap.  Because of my last minute, stolen toasty-bed seconds, I would have to also eat  my breakfast on the road.  My dashboard resembled a morning buffet in a cheap motel.  I couldn't put my heaters on either.  My car at the time, had been reclaimed from a three year hiatus in a paddock in Margate, and apart from it's multi-coloured selection of doors and no fuel gage, the air conditioning was stuck on full bore cold air.  It was like a Arctic tornado in there.  That switch was unturn-off-able.  I'd been to countless mechanics who used a vast selection of tools.  However, they'd all come to the same conclusion in the end...."Nah love, she's fucked". And so was I.  Every weekday morning during the winter of 2000 at 6am.


Such a classic



The following year I moved into the ground level room of a dilapidated house in West Hobart, and experienced nothing like I've ever experienced before.  They call this miracle "Under Floor Heating".  I was hooked.  While the rest of Hobart's teeth chattered as they huddled round the typical Tasmanian style of heating an entire house - the single bar radiator, I turned the dial to 30 degrees and brought in a paddling pool, some sand and a couple of palm trees.  Ah, life was sweet that winter at Club Saunders.  Perhaps not so sweet when I spilt to the mainland and my flatmates got landed with a rather large power bill.  They couldn't exactly pin it on me, but I think it's safe to say that it had more than doubled, since I went tropical crazy down below. 

However, after this expensive experience I had still not learned my lesson.  When spending a full winter season in Hobart, just before and after my twinnies were born, I got cranky with the old central heating knob, and relived my toasty glory days.  I would even leave it on when I went out, so that upon homecoming, I could immediately change into my bikinis and cool down with a frosty beverage.  The bill was over two grand.  Because we had already spilt the country without first receiving it, I got put in the debt collectors.  Ooops.  I can see why my parents were such heating tight arses.  To be warm in the cold costs a bloody fortune.

After leaving Tassie that particular time, we went to Morocco, which was unbearably hot.  So naturally, I over-used the air conditioning.  It's hard to get it right.  As far as what tomorrow will bring, I know not.  What I do know that is that I will be shivering or perspiring, and wishing I'd worn something else.  I better go to bed right now though, as my fingers are getting frost-bite.  My electric blanket has been cranking on full power for a few hours now.  Naturally I will forget to turn it off, and awake in a dehydrating sweat at 4am and drink 7 litres of water.......Isn't it great to be back in the homelands......Tassie's lucky it's so pretty.....