Italian Cops: The Best Cops in the World

Meet my new chums.....

Rocky

The irony of yesterday's escapade does not escape my notice, considering what was under discussion in my previous post.  Yesterday we took a a day trip into the Madonie Mountains of Sicily.  Unbelievable scenery, lava crushed landscape giving way to rolling dry hills, with huge rocky outcrops perched on top of the very highest peaks.  And built into the rocks, and part of them too, little villages. An incredible sight.  Our destination = Madonie Adventure Land.  Luckily it really was more about the journey than the destination.  The best I have to say is that the kids looked really cute in helmets.  The worst; one tiny section of rope bridges and nets for them to climb on.  I don't know why they had to wear helmets, they were like 2cm from the ground.  The donkeys were out of service for rides, and the baby one had a festy fly infested sore on it's rump.  Lets just say, for anyone attempting the 4 hour drive here for destination alone, I would advise giving it a wider birth than you would a person with a fresh coldsore leaning in for the hello kiss.  I hate hello and goodbye kisses at the best of times.  Is it necessary?  I mean really.  Do most people out there really like going the lash, or is everyone being polite, because they think others want to....?

More rocky

OK, it was rocky - get over it

As I said, cute in helmets

Not exactly possible head injury issues on the "Baby Course"

Chalks springs into action

As we drove there, over a series of potholes and the shittest road since the one to Federal, the thought did occur to me that this was exactly the type of road that gave me those two flat tyres last year.  I thought again of my former tyre misfortunes later, when I saw a broken down car on the side of the highway.  I actually commented "The poor bastards - I'm so glad my breaking down days are over"........Hmmmm.  Perhaps not.  Scarcely 10 minutes later, there was a strange noise, like something was stuck under the wheel.  We slowed down and pulled to the side of the highway.  Upon investigation, it was none other than a flat tyre - my old friend.  Let the change commence.  As I previously mentioned, new jacks are incomprehensible to work out.  We even had to get out the manual.  There was just a couple of tiny (and again incomprehensible), diagrams teamed with a really detailed accompanying explanation.....in Italian.  We bent a couple of bits of the metal platform trying to hoist the car up, and it even slipped off the jack once - which could have been nasty.  But after twenty odd minutes, the old bitch was up.  Old flattie came off, and we got the spare out.  But something was wrong.  The spare was a rim with about 2cm of rubber around it.  What was going on????  It said temporary tyre on it, but I've seen temporary tyres. The are a smaller width than a regular tyre, but from outer rim to tyre's edge, they are the same as a normal tyre.

Stupidest tyre ever

We were like "Maybe it's a new style of tyre".  So we put it on anyway.  What else could we do?  It was a Sunday evening and we had neglected to bring a phone.  The tyre looked ridiculous (as shown above).


As we were contemplating the issue, suddenly there was a flash of blue lights, and there were the cops.  They got out and came to investigate.  Their English was poor, our Italian was worse, but we got the communication going.  They agreed with us, the tyre did not look right.  They read the manual, and also rang Avis for us.  Then they worked out that the tyre needed to be blown up.  It had no air in it what so ever.....it all makes sense now......But what could we blow it up with?  There was nothing in the back of our car.  But, all hail the police.  They actually had an air compressor in their police waggon.  They then drove their police car into one lane of the highway and blocked it off, so that the plugged in pump could reach our tyre.  While the tyre was getting air, one policeman started writing down a series of tourist destinations we should visit while in Italy.  The other one rang Avis back, and ripped them a new arsehole for giving us an air-less tyre, and no compressor.

Giovani and Antonio turn up to save the day

I was impressed.  It was my favourite international police experience to date.  We haven't had many though.  A few speeding fines mainly.  In Spain, we were about 5km over the limit, and the policeman tried to charge us on the spot.  When we didn't have enough money, he accompanied us to an ATM to collect the bucks.  Unfortunately our credit card didn't work, so the policeman threatened that our car would be towed away, while we would be left on the side of the road (with our six month babies).  Luckily my sister produced a working card, the meanie got his bucks, and we were on our merry way again.

In the Napa Valley in the States, about five years ago, we were pulled up by highway patrol.  The police officer said this; "I pulled you up because you were obviously speeding.  However, because of the immense speed you were travelling at, I was actually sucked into the vortex that you created in your wake and couldn't get an accurate reading, so I can't fine you.  SLOW DOWN"......"Yes Sir.  We sure will".

In Iceland, again about five years ago, we were pulled up again for speeding.  There seems to be a pattern doesn't there.......?  The policeman said "Either you can pay me now, or I can send the fine to your hotel".  Naturally we took the hotel option. Never saw it.

In Israel, caught talking on the mobile, all we did was act dumb (not a huge stretch really), and pretend we had no idea it was illegal.  We got told off a lot, but no real issues that involved coughing up cash.  Israelis love a tourist.  As soon as they realise you're not Israeli, they want to care for you, like you're a weak and sickly puppy.  I guess you are sort of a weak and sickly puppy when you're in a foreign place, and can't understand the language, the culture or the social norms.  Either a puppy, or a mentally challenged three year old.

And finally, in Morocco, the police were out of control.  They were pulling up every foreigner they could find and accusing them of speeding.  They would have pulled us up about twenty times the month we were there - sometimes twice a day.  They would always ask for a ridiculous amount of money.  Chalks would offer them a quarter.  They would take it.  Chalks decreased his offer it to a tenth of the original demand.  They accepted that too.  Fine paid, see you tomorrow.

Anyway, back to our heros.......Not only did the Italian police sort us out completely tyre-wise.  They also organised for us to collect a new car from Avis the next day.  Then they posed for photos with us, and dressed Chalks up in their jacket and sunnies.  After Chalks had had his photo taken they said.  "OK - we don't mind taking photo with you, but we prefer with your woman".  I posed happily with our new friends on the force.  I can be someone's woman, who cares?  One also gave me his email address - we can be penpals!  I haven't had a penpal since my Mexican one in Year Four - "Christmas Lopez".  She kept asking me for pesos - I didn't know what they were.  I was jealous she had her ears pierced.  So, due to jealousy and betrayal, the friendship faded away by term three.....

The smiling cops, and the thug in the middle wearing the police jacket...

Following the snap happy session, our new best friends then decided they would give us a police escort down the highway, seeing as we couldn't drive on the temporary tyre over 80km/ph.  So there we were, back on the road, a tyre full of air, and with our new chums, the cops, escorting us home.  Sometimes our luck is mind-blowing.  And Valli and Cordi?  Well, like the earthquake/tsunami in Japan, the floods in Thailand, the near canyon plummet in Morocco, and the cafe car crash in Melbourne - blissfully unaware of any issues.  This time, snoozing in the back with a fist full of crushed cannoli......Ah innocent ignorance - the best kind of ignorance.....

They put their hats on especially for the photo - nice boots too boys!