The Motherland

As we were driving through the green lushness of country England on our way to Oxford, Chalks asked me if I felt a bit nostalgic "returning to my motherland".  My immediate response was "yeah right, my last relative who lived in England was a convict named William (aka "William The Convict" - look, it wasn't his fault, he just borrowed a pair of boots).  Yet as I looked around at the thatched roof cottages and red telephone boxes, I did feel strangely comforted.  But then, so did Chalks, and he barely likes the UK.  We decided that this sense of familiarity must be attributed to all the English television shows that were on the networks when we were children.  All those Famous Five episodes, and maybe even The Goodies (has anyone ever watched that in adulthood?  I now understand why my parents despised it).  Even Metal Mickey resulted in me having a thrill every time I heard an English accent say "boogie boogie".......which wasn't that often come to think of it......

Naturally I couldn't resist an iconic image shot (although, how can it compete with Mickey?).

Those eye holes were not cut out well

My partner was amazed to see dozens of union jack flags fluttering off every thatched cottage fence.  He just thought there was some serious patriotism going down, until I reminded him it was the remnants from Jubilee fever.  I'd actually entertained the notion of going - 1000 boats on the Thames seemed so Tudor-like.  I love a royal celebration.  I'm glad we didn't go however.  It would have been chaos in London.  And it was raining.  Miserable chaos.  "The Kok" was a better choice.  Then, when we touched down at Heathrow we jumped straight in a car and drove to Oxford.  According to my friend, in the lead up to the Jubilee celebrations, every time you turned on the TV there was a large group of people discussing the nothing that was going on, just as people will discuss a major sporting event before it actually starts.  They have nothing to say, but have airtime, so must talk absolute shit.  Apparently there was a camera mounted on the road outside Buckingham Palace first thing in the morning, and the conversation went something like this;

"Well as you can see, we are looking at the road outside the palace and her majesty would have woken up by now.  She'd be sitting up in bed and would have rung for her morning cup of tea.  I wonder what she's thinking eh Dickie?"
"I'll tell you what she's thinking old chap (chimes in Dickie), she's thinking about her dear old Dad, and how proud of her, he'd be today"
"You're absolutely right Dickie, and perhaps her majesty is also thinking about the damage the rain could do to the stitching on her new powder blue overcoat"
"Too true, too true....and probably hoping for crumpets for breakfast"
"And kippers"
"Yes, of course, kippers"........hang on! quick! cut to the camera! a pigeon has just come into frame....".
And so on.....

Oxford is a truly beautiful place.  Apparently people have been studying there for over 800 years.  As I pass by some of those incredible colleges, I wonder about what it must feel like to be an Oxford student.  You could talk about which tutors are hot, wear a pork pie hat and cycle around on a bicycle with heavy texts loaded in the basket.  Then there was always drinking tea and eating crumpets.....and kippers.  Inspired by the intelligence all around me, I was hoping that just a little of it might be airborne, and actually seep into my pores.  I decided to wear my smart girls glasses to blend in.  I know for a fact that I am pretentious for wearing glasses without prescription lenses in them, but it does give my outfits a lift, so don't care.  In Japan I employed the same trick to get more respect from my corporate students.  It really works.  However, I would have been better off wearing a white bow tie and a robe - that was the look of the day.  Apparently it's the get-up you have to appear in when you take an exam.  This evening they were in pink party hats blowing bubbles.

Luckily for me, my beloved former workmate from Japan came to Oxford for a few days.  I got to hang out with her which is always funny and fun.  I'm so glad we kept our friendship going, as you mostly end up losing contact with the friends you make overseas.  I honestly couldn't have made it through a particularly traumatising work contract without her company.  She is about to become a PhD student in Oxford, and I am inspired and impressed by her. She said she would ride a bike around too, so I'm even more impressed. No feedback on the pork pie hat.  Or the kippers....she is a vegetarian though......Maggie Gyllenhaal would play her in a movie.   Her name is Harriet, and this is a picture Cordi took of her this afternoon.

Love her

We have an early start tomorrow.  Two more flights and then....hurrah!  Caribbean.....I can ditch the smart girl glasses, nobody cares over there....and make up, and hair dye and leg wax.  Stay tuned for picture perfect snaps everyone......

Revenge of the nerd glasses