No Rooting in Rooters

Monsters

I would like to give any loved-glazed newly-weds some stellar advice.......Don't take your children on your honeymoon.  Just saying.  I now fully realise why many people get married before having kids.  And it's not to prevent them form suffering eternal damnation as bastards.  Not only are they annoying and ruin any dinner you may like to linger over - causing you to be forced to "Gulp and Bolt", but you may spend more time in the nude with strangers than you will with your husband.  Or for me, I spent much more time with my friend Zoe's naked body than with my new husband's.  Not that it wasn't pleasant - Zoe is hot - but I didn't just exchange "I dos" with Zoe.  By the way, it's not like we were sitting around in the nude for fun, we were actually soaking in a Japanese onsen.  I just wanted to mention that, before rumours fly that Zoe and I like to hang out naked for fun.  Although we actually were hanging out naked for fun, I still think it needed to be clarified that we were sitting in a bath with towels on our heads. Still saw her fanny though.

Me and snow (there's a few of these)

Anyway, back to good old Rooters we went.  I’ve harped on for significant amount of time just how great it is  here, so I wont go into too much detail about the particular things, that in my opinion, make Rusutsu the best resort in Japan – unbelievable snow and terrain, not so many Aussies, full sized carousel in the lobby, all you can eat sashimi, a talking tree - (reminiscent of a bad acid trip) , singing dogs, a bear band, the world's shortest and slowest monorail.  Basically, all kinds of kitsch at every turn.  You can read it all in last years Rooters entry if you’re so inclined.
http://twintravelling.blogspot.jp/2012/03/root-toot-toot.html

Not sure who these randoms are, I nicked this photo off "flickr"  for the tree 

The snow is usually excellent, and due to the fact that it had snowed for a week before we arrived, it was better than I’ve ever seen it.  However, the day after we arrived there was a full-on storm.  It actually made world news, as my Mother saw it, assumed the worst, and thus presumed we’d perished in an snowy hell.  Some people did.  Poor suckers who left their stalled cars to try and get out of there on foot didn't get far.  Also, a carload of children and their mother snuffed it (literally), when their exhaust pipe became blocked with snow and they died of carbon monoxide poisoning.  Horrific.  I saw photos of cars completely buried in snow.

Buried cars - apparently winds got to 110kmph and 5 metres of snow fell in some places

Trains were derailed

A scary moment

It was pretty intense.  We were out in it during the morning, and that was before the winds really picked up and they closed the mountain.  The gondolas were flapping around like they were going to collide, and it was not a very comforting situation.  At one stage I really thought the gondola was going to smash into a support pole and I had Chalk’s arm in a vice-like grip thinking to myself “I can’t believe this activity is classified as fun and costs thousands”.  It did strike me as ironic that in times of danger we are in our old favourite regular spot – suspended high in the air in a swaying icy tomb.

Just not my idea of a good time

Outside it was like Mawson’s trip to Antarctica.  Blowing a gale, and a complete white out.  You could be skiing into anything, you just wouldn’t know.  I regretted not having a compass, some dehydrated peas, and a pack of huskies.  Sometimes, even on a steep hill you weren’t even moving due to the winds that picked up even more, apparently destined for 80kmph.  Needless to say we didn't last long out there.  I took the girls to the wave pool.  Again with the unrelaxing.  In fact I think it was worse than being outside in a blizzard.  Wave pools are unrelenting.  You feel like you're in a washing machine or something.  I had Valli and Cordi in their rings and it was really hard to keep them in check.  One would get sucked out to the back and one washed in across the steps.

Piss off

At least at the real beach, there is more of a gap regarding wave spacing.  In the wave pool they just kept on rolling.  I just console myself with the thought that soon the girls will be big enough,  and I’ll be one of the dry parents smiling smugly from a banana lounge at all the losers clutching their babies, and stumbling round with one boob hanging out and their hair all over their eyes.  It was like when the girls took swimming lessons last year in Melbourne.  I would have to get in the bloody pool with them every time.  I tried to get out of it on several occasions, but old chubby Anna Brown, from The Anna Brown Swim School  (didn't see that instructor's name coming),  shut me down with a “Get your bathers on” at any attempt I made to remain dry.  I hated those clothed bitches on the side in their thigh length quilted jackets and shiny riding boots.  I’m not taking them this year if I have to swim too.  It defeats the purpose.  If it’s good enough for dance class – nobody makes the mothers get up and wave streamers there.  If they want to look like dicks it’s entirely their own decision.

Sim stylin' it in a snowy wonderland

Anyway, so as you can imagine, with the big mountain closed for a day and all kinds of belting snow, when it came time to get out there and give it a red hot crack, it was pretty good.  Pretty, pretty good.  I know Rooters like the back of my anus too (I spend a lot of time checking the cellulite in mirrors), and the fact that you could ski anywhere all over the entire mountain made for a week of pure joy.  There were so many options, that even though it didn’t dump seriously again while we were there, fresh untracked powder was calling our names left, right and centre.

Chalks and snow (strangely there are a lot of these kind of shots too)

This snowy paradise was worth the walk out

We did some Rooters pioneering  and discovered some seriously divine first tracks experiences, saw a giant fox, avoided a gully of certain death, and ended up whereabouts unknown.  In this instance, the joy when I spotted a road was unparallelled, and even though we had to walk back to the mountain, the fact that we weren’t out in a field eating snow for dinner overshadowed all exhaustion.  For me anyway.  Unsure about 10 year old Nina – it’s a little different taking a long stroll up a snowy road in ski boots.

She may be tired but she still made it - best 10 year old skier ever xx

We made it back to civilisation!!!

We also had a bit of fun scooting under the ropes that had signs on them that said “Extreme Avalanche Danger”.  Seemed fine to us.  Not to mention brilliant fun.  We enjoyed that area for quite some time.  That was until we were on a section directly facing our former fields of pow - or  the tree run we referred to lovingly as “Avalanche” and spotted terrifying looking ridges and some rather large cracks.  Could have gone at any time. Ah, so THAT’S why the avalanche sign was there….I just thought ski patrol were being dramatic.  I guess they did try and build a wall of snow in front of the entry point which we just climbed over for a couple of days.  Whoops.  Oh well, we’re still alive.

Translates as "stupid westerners snowboarding below this point will fall 994m to their death"

Jai - one week on a board and already far better than me - why can't I be a 14 year old?

But like all good things, Rooters came to an end after a glorious week of fun and friends.  As our trusty companions zoomed away bound for the airport on the free bus, I actually got a bit teary.  It was brilliant having our beloved mates to hang out with.  Dear Zoe, Simon, Jai and Nina, we miss you!!!! The girls are really lost without their "big girl' bestie - the gorgeous Nina.

Who doesn't love a dizzy wizzy?

And as for me,  I'm really going to miss Zoe's boobs.......

Chums, sweet chums